Friday Fictioneers – A Shock To The System

ff200313The sun was beating down on his neck. It was another beyond hot day in the outback.The flies. Damn flies!

“When I die I’m going to come back as a thing which annoys a fly” thought Eddie.

His thirst was intense. That stream of water spilling out onto the baking desert was simply irresistible.

Very carefully Eddie reached through the fence and picked up the hose. Aah. A bit warm but he didn’t mind.

A few yards away the old fool groaned. He’d live.

Eddie hadn’t been so stupid. He knew the top rails were electrified.

All horses know that.

This is my entry in this week’s 100 word writing challenge over at Friday Fictioneers.

37 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – A Shock To The System

    1. paulmclem Post author

      It made me chuckle when I wrote it. Glad one or two others had a laugh as well. First attempt at a fun piece but that picture deserved a light hearted tale.

    1. paulmclem Post author

      The last line means everything to me in these 100 word stories. Every word is of course vital but I place particular store in try to get the final sentence spot on. I liked this one. Glad you did too.

    1. paulmclem Post author

      Thanks Sandra. Was actually going to call the story “Horse Sense” or “Horse Play” but thought it would then be too obvious that the horse was Eddie. Thanks again for commenting on my work.

      1. paulmclem Post author

        Indeed. Some of the stories leave you thinking…”where the heck did that come from?”. However, it gives you ideas and thoughts to work with.

      2. David Stewart

        That’s true. It makes you wonder how other peoples’ minds work: “they saw that picture and came up with that?” I’m sure people wonder that about my stories sometimes. 🙂

      3. paulmclem Post author

        Think some people have a style or preferred genre which can drive where their story will come from. This perhaps explains how some minds end up where they do. At the moment this is still new to me so I’m a bit of a blank canvas.

    1. paulmclem Post author

      So far most of my stories have made people sad. I quite like doing that but from time to time it’s also fun to raise a smile. Thanks for your comments.

    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers. It was actually your story from a couple of weeks ago (one about the spiral staircase) which triggered the idea of trying to do a fun story. So thanks for the inspiration!

  1. paulmclem Post author

    Thanks to everybody who took time to read and comment on my story. I know I’ve said this several times but it’s true, it really means a lot to me. As someone new to creative fiction every comment, good or bad, is appreciated. Happily most has been good so far which gives me the encouragement to stick at it and to produce even better 100 word efforts.


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