Friday Fictioneers – Nature’s Law

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“Take a break” shouted Dan as he and Frankie collapsed breathless under the gnarly old tree.

“It pulls in evil” said Dan looking up at the knot riddled branches. “Reaches out and just grabs it. Those lumps? Bad people. Every crime committed in these parts, it removes a bit of evil. The bigger the crime the more it needs.”

“Does stealing Mr Perkins car count?” said Frankie jokingly.

As Dan moved away Frankie’s muffled cries faded to silence.

How many more? How many…?

Dan knew well enough that what he’d done to that girl meant the old tree would be expecting him again very soon.

This is my entry in this week’s 100 word writing challenge over at Friday Fictioneers.

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48 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Nature’s Law

      1. waitingforaname

        Oh, no worries! My Dan is a fictional character, lest anyone think I was maligning a loved one! I mean, I love him as a character in my story, but not, you know, like a real, live human being I’d have to worry about discovering that I think he’s a jerk… πŸ™‚

    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers Janet. Yes, evil, sad and bad are common themes on here. More fun to write or easier? Not sure. I do plan on trying some lighter pieces moving forward.

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Actually drew a bit of a blank for the first few minutes when I saw the prompt. All I could really see were the lumps. Then all of a sudden the story came. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Thanks Penny. Yes, it was quite tricky to fit this story into 100 words but I think I just about managed it. My last couple of stories have been relatively ambitious for such a short format but I’m up for the challenge!

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Gnarly is a great descriptor for old trees. Not surprised a lot of people used it or at least thought about using it. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Thanks El. I am always conscious that there may be a fine line between originality and confusing people. I think that’s a risk I am happy to take as long as some positive feedback follows! Many thanks for taking the time to comment. Much appreciated.

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Indeed. That would be the end for a longer story. The offerings negate his original crime but then he has to pay for sacrificing these people to seemingly save his own skin. Two hundred words, maybe even just another couple of sentences and I would have written that. Ran out of words!

      Reply
  1. Parul

    Wow.. I really like what you did with this story.
    A justice keeper of a tree.. J. R. R. Tolkien wasn’t the only one who found the idea worth exploring.. There are plenty on FF who reached a similar conclusion! Good imagination! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Definitely plan on revisiting some of my FF stories down the line to see if they could be the basis for something longer. As you say this perhaps could be one. Thanks for reading!

      Reply

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