Friday Fictioneers – Suffering in Silence

ff150513Groundsman of the year 2012” announced the framed certificate. Other than his wedding day and the birth of his son it was big Harry Patchway’s proudest moment.

It all changed that night. He changed that night.

The lights. The screeching of brakes. The screams. The blood.

He still came to work. You could hear him. The weeds were running wild but he was still there.

If only someone had spoken to him. Why didn’t someone speak to him?

It was inside the Pennington mausoleum where they found Harry. As they took him down a picture of his wife and son floated slowly from his hand.

This is my entry in this week’s 100 word writing challenge over at Friday Fictioneers.

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48 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Suffering in Silence

    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers Moon (sorry I don’t know your name!). I hope the story has a touch of reality to it. I could definitely imagine a grieving groundsman losing it like this. Being helpless as his pride and joy goes to seed.

      Reply
  1. zookyworld

    In the middle of your story, I wondered if Harry had died in the car accident and returned to work as a ghost. But with the ending, it sounds like he went mad with grief and killed himself. A sad, sad story, and well written.

    Reply
      1. paulmclem Post author

        Yeh, I can see how people could read it both ways. If I was in the mood to pretend I’m a smarty pants I may say I meant that. I’m not and I didn’t but it’s funky that it could be read either way.Thanks for commenting. Haven’t seen yours yet. I will right that particular wrong now…on my way!

  2. Penny L Howe

    Any who have experienced those emotions will “get” what your words are conveying! There are those things in life that can make it hard to hang on to reality, during the pain of “loss” A sad but but well written story Paul!

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Thanks Penny. Something new again for me this week. Yes, a death but done in a different way. Pleased as ever that you liked it.

      Reply
  3. Steve B

    Tragic irony, the groundskeeper at a cemetery killing himself in a mausoleum, I like the way the last sentence basically ties the whole story together. Good flow.

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Much appreciated Lyn. It’s good when people say my pieces are well written. Trying to get better each week and I hope I am. Long way to go. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Reply
  4. Mystikel

    Very well written. Sometimes clinging to the routine of your job can carry you through the dark time of grief but working in a cemetary — how could he get away from it? So real it’s too real and that’s a compliment.

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Kind words Bjorn. Our paths are crossing on multiple writing challenges tonight! I’ve just commented on your Trifextra 68 post 🙂

      Reply
      1. paulmclem Post author

        Might have a look. Although I fancy doing longer pieces as well i.e. 300-500 words. The Trifecta allows 333 during the week so I’ll probably give that a go.

  5. Debra Kristi

    Both sad and moving. Grief can destroy a person if they allow it. I’ve seen it happen and it’s a horrible fall, even when the people who love them try to stop it. Very well written.

    Reply
  6. neenslewy

    The rawness of grief – explored well. A troubling piece and a great write – I agree that this is the initial atmosphere/ inspiration I got from this photograph – the overgrown, abandoned aqueduct made me think of loss too.

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Too be honest I have no idea what an aqueduct actually looks like. All I saw was the overgrown grass and in general something abandoned. That triggered the story. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
  7. annisik51

    Unbearable grief well-expressed. Not mawkish, but cleverly matter-of-fact, like a newspaper article. It happened. It happens. All the time. Placing your character in a cemetary is clever psychology. It raises the question whether the imagery of his everyday life added to his decision to end his life. I suggest it did. And it is nightmarish in that this is a brink on which most of us stand at one point or another. Ann

    Reply

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