Friday Fictioneers – Home For Good

ff290513It was just another day for Mabel Vandersak. Others didn’t think so.

“Fifty grand Mabel!”

“Don’t fight them Mrs Vandersak”

Mabel didn’t want the money. She was almost out of fight.

Below the crowds watched on as the bulldozers revved impatiently. Mabel emerged to hang her dress out to dry. Jeers from some. Cheers from others.

As darkness fell the foreman broke down the door. They found Mabel on the bed wearing her freshly washed and ironed dress. The same one she wore in the faded bedside photo of her and Hank on their wedding day.

This was the only house they’d ever shared. She wasn’t leaving.

This is my entry in this week’s 100 word writing challenge over at Friday Fictioneers.

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39 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Home For Good

  1. denmother

    Whew, I’m glad I read the other comments. I thought Mabel had departed this world on her terms in her home that she shared with her hubby. Go Mabel!

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Confession Time: My original thoughts were that Mabel ended it all. However, I have to admit when writing the piece I was feeling a tad guilty about another character of mine dying. Perhaps running out of words and my subconscious desire not to have another death led me to leaving the ending open i.e. vague. As it happens the FF crew seem to have liked the character and did not see her demise in the story. As such I am officially happy to say that Mabel is alive and well. However, she is still not going anywhere! Might do a follow up in the coming weeks to see how it all works out. Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  2. elappleby

    Great take on the prompt. I wasn’t sure if you intended Mabel to be dead at the end- I think it works well either way: alive is more cheerful but dead is more poignant.

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers El. If you look back up the comments I confessed about the ending to Denmother. Mabel lives to fight another day and more bulldozers!

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Thanks Sandra. Yeh, the ending was left vague (intentionally or otherwise!). Really interesting to see what ending people have concluded for themselves. Some see death, others defiance. I can see both but am happy for either to be chosen. Wonder what it says about a reader when they favour the death over life ending? Think as I have written a fair few stories which have a corpse at the end some maybe expect a body. Fascinating!

      Reply
  3. thesupercargo

    I’m in the defiance camp. I was surprised to see how many commentators thought Mable had bought it.

    Thinking about that Chinese family who refused to move so their home ended up an isolated rock in the midst of a flashy new development.

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      The defiance party are currently well ahead in the polling. I’m glad. Probably wasn’t my original intention with the story but if the people say “Mabel lives!” then who am I to argue 🙂

      Reply
  4. petrujviljoen

    I had a lump in my throat at Mabel’s demise. But the comments brought her back to life. There you have it. Miracles do happen. I liked this: story and comments a lot.

    Reply
  5. 40again

    I thought Mabel had taken her life, as she didn’t want to leave the house she and Hank had shared. Then I thought that she seems to feisty to left ‘them’ win.
    Way to go Mabel you get my vote!
    Dee

    Reply

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