Trifextra 71 – The Last Call

death-penalty3

During the block transfer an alarmingly sensual cocktail of disinfected floors and freshly cut grass made it feel and smell like a beautiful morning to be alive; she still held onto the hope that it might not yet be her last.

As the straps were tightened and the syringe prepared a phone began to ring.

Through the glass she could see her brother sag into their mother’s arms as the governor replaced the receiver smiling.

trifecta

These 3 sentences are my entry into the Trifextra 71 writing challenge

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21 thoughts on “Trifextra 71 – The Last Call

  1. Scriptor Obscura

    This is really good. So she got a stay of execution then, or didn’t she? I see how this could be taken two ways. Great story.

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Did she die or didn’t she? Well I suppose the way I’ve left it we know as much as her. Like her we are asking the question is a smiling governor good or bad?

      Glad you enjoyed it Scriptor.

      Reply
  2. Scriptor Obscura

    I wonder what her crime was. She was willing to kill but not be killed, hm? She was willing to take somebody else’s life, but when it comes down to your own life, you don’t want to die…Hm…

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Think when the end is nigh nobody wants to go. Well, not many. Previous bravado quickly dissipates when the clock has almost run out. Hence in our case she clings to normal day to day smells as being something she desperately wants to live to experience again. It’s probably silly and small things which fill your head at a time like that.

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Kind words Jo-Anne. Very encouraging to know there are people out there who enjoy my efforts. At the moment I’m just learning the creative craft, trying to get better each week. Hopefully you and others will continue to read and enjoy. Thanks again!

      Reply
  3. Cobbie's World

    Joanne beat me to the punch. I agree with her that the opening is very well written. It is for skilled hands to blur multiple points of view simultaneously like that. Very well done, sir!

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Flattering comments. Genuinely appreciated. I’m convinced my hands (and head) do have some degree of skill. However, it’s very, very early days. Plenty more to learn and oceans more to write. Come again!

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Perhaps the woman facing the end knows more than we do. To us a smiling governor could go either way. Maybe to her it is good because they have had a friendly relationship. Maybe it’s bad because they’ve never got on. Interpreting body language. Never an exact science. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Thanks Kymm. Think this piece is a step forward for me. Used some things I’ve learned from reading other entries. It sounds a bit more professional. Still a million miles from where I want to be but progress none the less. Thanks again for commenting.

      Reply

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