Friday Fictioneers – The Inner Voice

ff040913Ha Ha. He’s losing it. He can’t find it.

Ha Ha. He used to be able to open all these doors. Access all his memories.

Not any more. Not since we hid them.

He wants that thing. What is it? He’s sure it’s there!

He He. We know what it is. We know where it is.

He’s lost. Fumbling. Stumbling. Bumbling.

The fool doesn’t know his daughter from his wife.

Just sits there. Staring. Forgetting. Disconnecting.

We can feel him running along our corridors. We can see him. He can’t see us.

Think we might lock some more doors later.


This is my entry into this weeks 100 word challenge over at Friday Fictioneers.

50 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – The Inner Voice

    1. paulmclem Post author

      That indeed is the background to the story Moon. Glad I wasn’t too cryptic! The brain can play cruel tricks on us all through life i.e. we forget silly little things. However, in later years it can get even more cruel – it takes memories away and you never get them back.

    1. paulmclem Post author

      That’s the way I was playing it i.e some of our brains are inhabited my nastier and more petty gremlins than others. So far mine have played the odd trick on me but most doors remain unlocked. Here’s hoping it stays that way!

    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers Kz. Was actually inspired by a short story I read where the narrator was a mocking voice representing God. Thought it might also work with the Brain gremlins i.e. mocking the person whose brain they live in.

  1. rochellewisoff

    Dear Paul,

    This put me in mind of my cousin, who suffered from paranoid delusions before he died. He was convinced there was a woman who broke into his apartment every night and rearranged his things. It was disturbing. Well done.



  2. Helena Hann-Basquiat

    Hang on a tic, darling — you thought MY story was hard to decipher? Hello Pot, I’m Kettle! =P
    I read this through three times, and enjoyed it for what it was, darling — a story about a boy and his dog. Right? That’s what it’s about, right?
    (kidding. I, too, am losing my mind, just like your character).

      1. Helena Hann-Basquiat

        I’m someone in disguise, darling, but, like in Cluedo, you can scratch JK off your list of suspects. Sorry!

      1. Linda Vernon

        Then again some people are completely lucid up to their last breath. Phyllis Diller comes to mind. She died at 91 and was making jokes on tv just weeks before she died.

      2. paulmclem Post author

        Exactly. You just never know when or who it’s going to happen to. That first moment when you think it may be happening to you must be terrifying.

      3. Linda Vernon

        I know what you mean. I’m reminded of Peter Falk who was in his eighties who was perfectly fine until he went to the dentist and after that he was found wandering the streets totally incoherent and died shortly thereafter. And also, Glen Campbell who drank some wine (didn’t normally drink I read) after a game of golf and went totally beserk and was arrested etc, and now I read that he has Alzheimers now — which he had probably been getting for years.

  3. jwdwrites

    Hi Paul, great story and an interesting use of the prompt. I dread dementia, sometimes I feel senile now with my lousy memory. Now I dread it even more now I know how it happens… 🙂

  4. neenslewy

    I read it as dementia especially the confusion between wife & daughter.
    You described perfectly how this disease takes the mind and memories piece by piece. Locking the doors to the past and the present one by one. The confusion and sadness is entwined in your flash too, a great piece and inspired to write from the Gremlins narrative.

  5. zookyworld

    A scary thought to lose one’s memory, and you convey the scenario really well and creatively from the little creatures playing tricks with the man’s memories. Scary indeed, when he’s grasping by running down corridors for those memories.

  6. Joe Owens

    Demetia and Alzheimer’s are horrid diseases. My wife has a customer who asks her the same things every week and tells her stuff he thinks she has never heard. He also has some moments of inappropriate behavior, but we understand he has no idea what he is doing.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s