Friday Fictioneers – Perks of the Job

ff230414Outside in the cool, midnight breeze two pairs of eyes watched for a signal; closer to the door, a third pair listened.

It wasn’t yet time.

As the last chord was strummed, the final lyric floated off into the weed-filled air, the audience applauded as one.

The eyes now made their move.

There was no panic amongst the club regulars – there never was.

Hey man, shit happened.

For all that they were a pain in the ass, it had to be conceded that Sheriff Menzies’ boys were without doubt the most considerate drug cops in the Valley: never began a raid during a song – genuinely respectful music lovers to a man.


These words form my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt challenge.

20 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Perks of the Job

  1. claire Fuller

    Ah, that’s a real movie moment – the cops waiting until the end of the song – loved it. One tiny niggle though: ‘closer to the door, a third pair listened’ – these are eyes you’re talking about, so I’m not sure they can listen…

    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers, Claire. Yeh, eyes that listen – swithered over that but ultimately decided to leave it in. My thinking was that a ‘pair of eyes’ was really just an arty farty way to describe a person, and of course a person can listen. There ends the case for the defence 🙂

  2. Caerlynn Nash

    Oh, thank gawd! I thought at first this was another vampire story (the eyes in the dark thing).
    Great job. I enjoyed the surprise!

  3. sustainabilitea

    Nicely done twist at the end. I think the third pair listening has to go. The eyes have it. :-). If you said “a pair of ears listened”, you only need to omit one word to keep your word count.


  4. rochellewisoff

    Dear Paul,

    If I may, as you’ve already conceded, be part of the “baying mob”. Listening eyes sort of took me out. Aside from that a good story as always.



  5. Lyssa Medana

    What a brilliant story! I loved the construction, gently leading you down and only hinting at the really cause of the raid with a throw-away adjective.

    I’m in contact because you have previously posted on Trifecta. I really miss Trifecta, and after talking things over with Thomas Marlowe we decided to try and do something similar, Light and Shade Challenge It would be great if you felt you could come over and have a look and maybe jump in, we would both be really glad to see you. Please get in touch if you have any ideas or comments. LM x


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