Yeah Write #161 Gargleblaster – The Stuff of Nightmares

buried

Cool, clammy soil crushes down on breaking ribs.

Unshed tears remain sealed behind closed eyelids.

A wireworm burrows its way into bulging veins;

A beetle clicks.

Silence begets darkness –

No air to breathe, no voice to scream.

My final hope:

To wake.

These 42 words form my entry into this week’s Gargleblaster challenge over at Yeah Write. The words were prompted by the question ‘Is something crawling on me?‘. I hope you enjoy where I went with it. Thanks again to everybody who voted for my ‘Crowd Fave’ piece last week, much appreciated!

31 thoughts on “Yeah Write #161 Gargleblaster – The Stuff of Nightmares”

saroful May 12, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Nicely put together- it feels so lost.

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paulmclem Post authorMay 12, 2014 at 9:33 pm

Cheers!

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theinnerzone May 12, 2014 at 7:55 pm

I like it Paul, especially the line: Silence begets darkness – No air to breathe, no voice to scream.

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paulmclem Post authorMay 12, 2014 at 9:33 pm

Thanks, inner. Always appreciate your comments.

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fatgirlinboxinggloves May 12, 2014 at 8:32 pm

There are so many great lines (and images) here. My favorites are: “A beetle clicks/ Silence begets darkness.” I wish this piece was longer. I would love to see where it goes. Beautiful work.

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paulmclem Post authorMay 12, 2014 at 9:35 pm

Thanks. Have to admit this one was a bit of a struggle. Thought of the idea straight away but getting it to work in 42 was tricky – almost didn’t bother to post. However, some last gasp changes just about saved the day. Pleased you saw something in it.

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Ann Bennett May 12, 2014 at 9:25 pm

but it ain’t gonna happen. Chilling and well done.

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paulmclem Post authorMay 12, 2014 at 9:35 pm

Thanks for the comment.

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cobourgcobbie May 12, 2014 at 9:30 pm

How very claustrophobic! You can feel the dampness and lack of oxygen. There is little hope for this character; almost better not to wake up after all.

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paulmclem Post authorMay 12, 2014 at 9:36 pm

Unless it is all just a nightmare, in which case waking up would be a good move 🙂

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1. Jo-Anne Teal May 13, 2014 at 2:09 am
  
  I agree completely with Tom’s comments so I’ll say ditto. I could smell wet sand and feel the clammy environment. This really grabs the reader! Excellent.
2. paulmclem Post authorMay 13, 2014 at 4:55 pm
  
  Thanks, Jo-Anne. Always nice to hear from you.