Cool, clammy soil crushes down on breaking ribs.
Unshed tears remain sealed behind closed eyelids.
A wireworm burrows its way into bulging veins;
A beetle clicks.
Silence begets darkness –
No air to breathe, no voice to scream.
My final hope:
To wake.
These 42 words form my entry into this week’s Gargleblaster challenge over at Yeah Write. The words were prompted by the question ‘Is something crawling on me?‘. I hope you enjoy where I went with it. Thanks again to everybody who voted for my ‘Crowd Fave’ piece last week, much appreciated!
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Nicely put together- it feels so lost.
Cheers!
I like it Paul, especially the line: Silence begets darkness – No air to breathe, no voice to scream.
Thanks, inner. Always appreciate your comments.
There are so many great lines (and images) here. My favorites are: “A beetle clicks/ Silence begets darkness.” I wish this piece was longer. I would love to see where it goes. Beautiful work.
Thanks. Have to admit this one was a bit of a struggle. Thought of the idea straight away but getting it to work in 42 was tricky – almost didn’t bother to post. However, some last gasp changes just about saved the day. Pleased you saw something in it.
but it ain’t gonna happen. Chilling and well done.
Thanks for the comment.
How very claustrophobic! You can feel the dampness and lack of oxygen. There is little hope for this character; almost better not to wake up after all.
Unless it is all just a nightmare, in which case waking up would be a good move 🙂
I agree completely with Tom’s comments so I’ll say ditto. I could smell wet sand and feel the clammy environment. This really grabs the reader! Excellent.
Thanks, Jo-Anne. Always nice to hear from you.
Dark and nightmarish – you captured hopelessness and terror really well. Great job, Paul – thanks for linking up!
A pleasure as always to contribute.
It’s so…dark. I love it! If I wasn’t so fascinated by the morbid, I’d be a bit perturbed. (:
Cheers, Renada.
You took me there. This is one of those pieces I’ll not forget. Thank you!
Glad you liked it 🙂
Wow! Talk about a nightmare.
Thanks for reading, Kymm…oh and welcome to the Gargleblaster!
very creepy! You put the perfect chilling words together.
Cheers, Jen.
awesome and oh so creepy!
Thanks.
Chillingly dark and what a creepy photo to complement this piece-well written Paul 🙂
Much appreciated!
🙂
“Silence begets darkness” is an awesome phrase. I’m a little squeamish here!
Nicely done! I especially liked the line “a beetle clicks.” I had a dream about a click beetle once, before I knew they existed.
This is a phobia of mine, and your piece was literally hair raising! The clicking beetle was a perfect detail!
Oh. Too nightmarish for me…Too scary for people with “that” phobia…yikes!