Friday Fictioneers – Passing of Time

ffThe dark shadows under my eyes tell their story. The uncombed, thinning strands of hair and week-long stubble matches my grey mood.

The reflection wasn’t always this way.

I force a smile as I remember the once handsome young man struggling with an unruly bow-tie as the Prom limo pulled up with Becky inside; fight back tears as I briefly see the proud father with a sleeping infant in his arms.

Out in the hallway hushed voices are gathering. Becky gently pushes open the bathroom door and takes my hand.

‘Come on honey, they’re about to start reading her will.’

friday-fictioneers

These words form my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt challenge.

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24 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Passing of Time

    1. paulmclem Post author

      There is no daughter. Bloke looking in mirror has returned to his mother’s home (his childhood home) after she has passed. Becky is the man’s childhood sweetheart, now wife i.e. Thanks for the comment 🙂

      Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Idea for story was: Man going back to his childhood home after the death of his mother – we than have some memories via the mirror i.e. him before the prom, him with his own child in his arms. This is then disturbed by his wife saying it’s time to read the will. You’re probably right that it’s perhaps a bit unclear but c’est la vie 🙂

      Reply
      1. Claire Fuller

        Oh, that was what I thought! I just read your response to Dawn where you said ‘there was no daughter’. Of course the infant could have been a son. But it was that which confused me, rather than your story – not unclear after all.

  1. sustainabilitea

    As I read, not closely enough, the first time, I thought the dead person was his wife. When I re-read, I understand that it has to be his mother but I think maybe the paragraph with his memories of his life and nothing about his mom are what derailed me a bit. I like the way you had his reflection actually reflect how he felt and you got the emotions through.

    janet

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Aye, think you need to be into this one from the start or it may be a bit unclear. However, I’m happy to leave it as is this week. Thanks for the comment.

      Reply
  2. patriciaruthsusausan

    Paul, It was a good story, but I was also a bit confused as to who died. I suppose I should have realized he had gone to his childhood home, but some people marry and stay in the childhood home. Well written though. 🙂 —Susan

    Reply
  3. Dee

    Both my parents died some time ago, and for me the dreadful pain of losing the first one, doubled with the loss of the second. My mind was flooded with memories, falling over themselves to stay at the forefront. Your story captures the sadness and the pain, well done Paul.

    Reply

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