Friday Fictioneers – The Vigil

ff030615From atop the cliffs overlooking Trezawna beach, she watched. It was another near moonless night – nought but a single, distant, silver star cast its reflection upon the dark waters of St. Gorren Bay.

Once still seas were slowly moved to anger by a strengthening, bitter, autumn breeze. Within the folds of her woollen cloak their infant son slept, warm and safe. Eliza wiped away a tear, before beginning the long walk home.

More than half a year may have passed since he’d sailed, but she would still be back tomorrow at nightfall, expecting to see the light of his return.


These words form my entry into Friday Fictioneers photo prompt challenge. 

23 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – The Vigil

  1. Claire Fuller

    I reckon there’s no problem with us both using ‘atop’. It’s a nice word, and you get three for the price of one. But I think it really only works when writing historical-type fiction, which we’ve both done this week.

    This is a lovely story btw, with some wonderful phrases. I especially like ‘the light of his return’.

    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers, Claire. Yes, I agree. “Atop” only works if it doesn’t seem dated i.e. used in historical ramblings. Glad you liked that last phrase – wasn’t sure people would like it, or get it. However, I felt it had to stay as it worked for me. As for the subject, I am meandering my way through the Poldark books at the moment and I jumped at the chance to pay minor homage to Winston Graham. I hope he isn’t spinning in his grave 🙂

  2. gahlearner

    Waiting, hoping, not knowing, so many people had to do this, and still do. Wonderful story. I’m a bit sad that atop is a dated word. I think it’s nice and descriptive. I’ll remember not to use it in the wrong context.

  3. Dave

    Personally, I think atop is a perfectly useful and serviceable word, and not ‘dated’ at all. And the story was fine, even if tragedy ain’t my favorite cuppa.

  4. Sandra

    I liked this. The photo reminded me of Trebarwith Strand in Cornwall – and your piece fit the nature of the picture beautifully. Well done.


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