Friday Fictioneers – The Vigil

ff030615From atop the cliffs overlooking Trezawna beach, she watched. It was another near moonless night – nought but a single, distant, silver star cast its reflection upon the dark waters of St. Gorren Bay.

Once still seas were slowly moved to anger by a strengthening, bitter, autumn breeze. Within the folds of her woollen cloak their infant son slept, warm and safe. Eliza wiped away a tear, before beginning the long walk home.

More than half a year may have passed since he’d sailed, but she would still be back tomorrow at nightfall, expecting to see the light of his return.

friday-fictioneers

These words form my entry into Friday Fictioneers photo prompt challenge. 

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23 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – The Vigil

  1. Claire Fuller

    I reckon there’s no problem with us both using ‘atop’. It’s a nice word, and you get three for the price of one. But I think it really only works when writing historical-type fiction, which we’ve both done this week.

    This is a lovely story btw, with some wonderful phrases. I especially like ‘the light of his return’.

    Reply
    1. paulmclem Post author

      Cheers, Claire. Yes, I agree. “Atop” only works if it doesn’t seem dated i.e. used in historical ramblings. Glad you liked that last phrase – wasn’t sure people would like it, or get it. However, I felt it had to stay as it worked for me. As for the subject, I am meandering my way through the Poldark books at the moment and I jumped at the chance to pay minor homage to Winston Graham. I hope he isn’t spinning in his grave 🙂

      Reply
  2. gahlearner

    Waiting, hoping, not knowing, so many people had to do this, and still do. Wonderful story. I’m a bit sad that atop is a dated word. I think it’s nice and descriptive. I’ll remember not to use it in the wrong context.

    Reply
  3. Dave

    Personally, I think atop is a perfectly useful and serviceable word, and not ‘dated’ at all. And the story was fine, even if tragedy ain’t my favorite cuppa.

    Reply
  4. Sandra

    I liked this. The photo reminded me of Trebarwith Strand in Cornwall – and your piece fit the nature of the picture beautifully. Well done.

    Reply

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