Friday Fictioneers – Paradise Lost

ff250516The palm trees lining the wooden promenade swayed gently in the hot ocean breeze. The sky above the village was its usual cloudless blue. From my seat outside the café I watched as a small crowd gathered down by the shoreline.  Even from this distance I could soon see what they had also surely seen  – the waters of the bay slowly receding into the shimmering horizon. I quickly finished my coffee and walked across the street to the beach. A single, white-topped ripple now rolled its way back towards land. Then the horizon went dark. Then we all ran.


These words form my entry into Friday Fictioneers photo prompt challen

16 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Paradise Lost

  1. gahlearner

    This is very scary. Like Björn, I immediately thought of the 2004 Tsunami. I like how you turn the mood from a calm and almost lazy day to the fascination and horror of the approaching wave.

  2. Thom Carswell

    When I first read this I got to the end and thought “Wait, what’s happening?!” but the writing and change of mood were so strong that I felt the urgency. Then I read it again and understood. My first reaction was probably similar to a lot of people caught up in the fleeing masses! I like it when a story does that to me. Nice one Paul.

  3. Margaret

    I love the tone of the last bit. It’s so calm. It’s such a contrast to the enormity of what’s happening that it seems even more horrifying. Really good build up too. Great story.


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